Let me paint the picture for you, just so you can get a real understanding of the disaster that lay before me.

Handbag the size of a small country and laptop in one hand, in the other a 10 week old Chihuahua named Mr C and I’m wearing a summer flowing dress – suitable for cocktails with friends, you know the type!

Just about to leave work and I decided that it would be a good idea to be environmentally and economically friendly and catch the bus instead of taxi’ing it home. So here I go and set off…..

Before I even catch sight of the bus station which is a 10 minute walk from work the wind has caught my dress blowing it over my head and leaving me stood in Sheffield City Centre baring all! Much to the amusement of the people nearby, I have no hands to pull my dress down and style it out and act like nothing’s happened.

Getting on the bus I then realise I am 10p short of the bus fare required for me and Mr C. So I adopt my most friendly and feminine smile and explain to the bus driver I’m 10p short and ask if he’ll let me off. Looking me directly in the eye and as stern as you like, he takes much joy in saying “NO!!” But not to worry I have a £20 note on me and give him that, thinking karma has played its role and that should piss him off. However karma comes all the way back around as he hands me the change in pound coins!! “Cheers mate!!” I say, a lot less friendly!

I pick up my eighteen pound coins off the tray and march down the bus aisle to take my seat. Just as I am about to sit down I am assaulted by a delightful old lady who decides to reach and take Mr C from my arms before I can say no – HELP! I almost have to rugby tackle her to the ground to save him from one more spitting “Isn’t he so cute” comment!

So, drama over I take my seat, minding my own business and twirling my hair, literally – I suddenly feel a short sharp slap on my face…..WTF? I turn around to see the old woman who’d assaulted me a minute ago sat there smiling and shouting “Your hair will fall out if you carry on doing that!!” Being the polite and respectable young lady I am, I smile and nod, seriously resisting tell her to “Do one” at the top of my voice. Imagine if that had’ve been the other way round!

Inspired to write I reach for my notepad and suddenly notice the bus hasn’t turned right at the junction it normally does! Bugger! I’ve only gone and got on the wrong bus!

So I get off the bus at the next stop and cross the road to get the right bus going the other way. This was the last thing I needed to be honest, Mr C was becoming restless and my beautiful wedge shoes are digging nicely into my feet by now.  When the bus arrives the bus driver this time is much more helpful and in fact didn’t even charge me for Mr C. After sitting there for 10mins and kindly smiling at a Chinese woman pointing and shouting Chihuahua every 2 seconds, it’s finally my stop.

A quick visit to the wine stop and an epic 2hrs and 10 mins later I’m home with blisters, pizza and a shattered Mr C.

How was your journey home??